On Days Like Today…

Photo by Gabriel Matula on Unsplash

Sometimes I just get in “One of those moods”, and I wonder if I’d be better off alone in the woods somewhere like a hermit. But it would be great if there was wifi of course!

I’m sure guys get in these moods as well. I just wonder if women are more prone to these spells. That’s why there’s man caves right? Where’s our lady caves?? Surely not just the bathroom?

When I’m in one of these moods, any request will be met with the stink eye. It can be the most simple thing too, but for all intents and purposes, it feels like I have to climb Mount Everest or the like.

Right now I’m in a pissy mood, and particularly bitchy. There’s not even anything really wrong, per se. Just want to be left alone, or I may start to roar or turn into Fiona on Shrek or something. Just saying. There have been times where I may or may not have made feral noises at my kid. For which I felt like a piece of sh*t immediately after.

Perhaps it’s the tossing and turning at night? Thinking about a myriad of issues, none of which induces relaxation and sleep.

Other dark thoughts permeate my brain…”Am I doing my best for my kid?”

A resounding “NO!” is shouted from the rooftop of my oft crap filled head.

“Am I letting everyone down?” Of course right?!

These thoughts are like an F-5 tornado in my head, and I’m ready to snap.

So many other thoughts are thrashing about like one of those N’or Easter storms I’ve heard so much about.

So many “Should’ve, could’ve, would’ves, but didn’t.

Am I to live in this self-imposed purgatory forever more?

Is it fair to my loved ones to inflict my torrential moods, while I’m battling myself in UFC in my head?

However, is there really any point to this recrimination of myself? No.

I try to think of the “Bright side” I really do…Yet at times I just sink further down this endless abyss.

I have to say though, it’s quite interesting how your emotions play on perspective and vice versa.

I’ve had many oh so many of “These days”, so I know I just have to hang tight and bear with myself as much as I can.

I know this won’t last forever… I have a funny family that knows how to make me laugh, and give me space when I need it

And for that, I am grateful!

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