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Confessions Of A Serial Plant Killer
Behold: I AmThe Grim Reaper Of Plants!
Dear People Near And Far,
Please do not entrust the care of your plants upon me. I beg of you, for the health and safety of your plants. Do not let me near them. If you love your plants, you must heed my advice.
Seriously. You don’t believe me?
Outside, my yard, is a cemetary of sorts for plants which have died due to my ineptitude. Their graves are marked with pots, which now lie empty. I wonder if my neighbors have noticed yet? Or if they blame me for missing pets as well. No, not critters. Only a graveyard of long-dead plants, cut down midbloom.
I am a laughing stock.
My family knows it’s only a matter of time, after we get a plant, it will surely die. Despite my best efforts.
I have a theory though. Since it’s not like an animal or child, which can make noise when it’s hungry, I forget to water the silent plants. Or I overwater them. I often delay transplanting them in a timely manner. Leaving them to basically suffocate in their own root system.
Either way, death is imminent.
