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PROUD CDN. Humorist, Royally FBTA. Owner/Editor of Ain't Yo' Mama's Tea Party. Undercover witch appearing as Human. I cast spells!

LETTERS/PETS/LOSS

I never realized how much I’d miss your furry presence until you were gone.

Image By Author

Dear Sally,

You can’t imagine just how much we miss you. You filled our hearts with your inky presence. I still find myself catching phantom glimpses of you from the corner of my eye. I wish I could hold you and feel your warmth again. I wouldn’t give a damn about the hair, not like I ever did anyways.

Since your passing, our home is not the same, but I’m glad you’re no longer in pain. It was excruciating to watch you suffer in your last couple days.

As you lost weight, I felt guilty for switching your food so…


And Not A Moment Too Late!

Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash

The day we met,
Stands tall in my mind
Tall like the Brooklyn Bridge
Joining us together as one

The day you found me,
Like a bird with broken wings
You built me a nest and mended me.
From the storms, you sheltered thee
Don’t ever leave me be…

Chorus
I found another piece
To my puzzle of life
An answer to a confusing riddle
An anchor to a lost ship at sea

Day by day,
My wings grew stronger,
Until I flew away
That fateful day…

But no matter how far I strayed,
I…


HUMOR POETRY

If a herd of zombies came upon her crew?

Photo by Austin Neill on Unsplash

“Cappy Sue Cappy Sue! Whatever shall we do?” Sarah Paris cried with trembling fear.

“ Come here my dear, what could it be? Now you’ve worried me!”

“There’s a herd of zombies coming near!”

excerpt from Youtube. TWD

"Ryan Fan and a few of his fighting crew are at the gate, but surely we’ll need more men than just eight!”

The Captain’s parrot had trained for this very task. Mr. Freud, rose high above and screeched his warning squall.

“Be prepared to make a great cull!”, bellowed the bright Macaw.


POLITICAL SATIRE

The Fate of So Many Is At Stake.

Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

Humpty Trumpty sat on the wall,
The country indeed,
Did take a great fall.

The last four years has been a waking nightmare of sorts.
Trump sat all day on Twitter,
And a storm he did tweet.
Oh my! What such a great leader is he.

The day when Biden is sworn in,
What a glory it will be!

But instead of being a good sport,
Trump will be sulking on the golf course,
Not showing a morsel of honor.

So many will sing and rejoice,
As Biden and Harris set the trail ablaze. …


HUMOR

A plea for a much better year

Photo by Kyle Thacker on Unsplash

Here’s to a helluva year
It’s brought many to their breaking point,
Or quite near.

Not outta the woods by a long shot,
But it’s been quite the battle,
we have fought!

Here’s to words of hope,
to help you cope.

Here’s to some smiles,
For the ever lovin’ miles,

It’s safe to say,
Our patience has been tested,
But our humor cannot be bested!

Without further ado,
Here are my entries,
and I gotta say,
this last year has felt like a century!

My latest humor stories

I’m just waiting for the link from our Cappy, Susan Brearley. I’ve been a’ scrollin’ and…


What a tale my thoughts would tell!

Photo by Matthew Ball on Unsplash

You would be scared sh*tless if you knew what was in my head!

Disclaimer: The following is simply a helpful guide for men who may need a little help from a friend. Some guys (#notallmen) are more woke in this arena, so please don’t get your boxers in a bunch, thinking I’m some feminist b*tch.

However, I totally own the bitch part! And why do we even need to call it feminism anymore? Ponder that for a moment, will ya?!

Humans are funny creatures, don’t you think? Men and women each have their own quirks. …


HUMOR

It doesn’t need to be depressing, you know!

Photo by Danie Franco on Unsplash

Robin Klammer passed away just short of her 100th birthday on February 11, 2075, at 11: 58: 58.

One of her goals was to reach this gargantuan milestone. Sadly, she barely missed it. Robin, being the clumsy lady she always was, slipped in the bathtub and the fall rendered her unconscious. She succumbed to her injuries before help arrived. Her med-alert button was also just out of reach.

Her surviving son had pestered her for years to install a safety railing and other measures to keep her upright and mobile. …


SATIRICAL REVIEW

I’m a city slicker at heart

Clip from YouTube

Disclaimer: This is my experience. No judgment or disdain allowed! Kindly scroll on if that’s all you can offer.

You know what else I don’t want? Your toxic positivity! It actually makes me retch, and I’m none too great at cleaning vomit. So save it for someone who can stomach your happily ever after #lifehacks, okaaaay?!

My review of “The Hidden Gem."

Ummmm, where is exactly is this mysterious gem already?! Cuz, I gotta tell ya, I think you’ve got the likes of unicorns flying from your arse! Or maybe the dogs have been eating your glaucoma medication again? Who the hell knows?

Sure, the bountiful trees are beautiful and the wildlife I often see in my backyard, which is also where my lovely neighbors have seen fit to store their crap willy nilly by the wayside. Every time I’m in the kitchen or dining room, which is damn near constantly, I see…


SATIRE

And no need to make a grand stink about it either a$$clown!

Photo by Alexandru Zdrobău on Unsplash

Haters gonna hate, but some of the women on Medium LOVE to make a stink about damn near EVERYTHING!!

My dear friend, Sherry McGuinn, recently wrote a piece about doing your own thing, whatever this happens to be, and NOT making a big deal about it. Well, suffice it to say, at least a couple of women, apparently have nothing better to do than look for stuff to be angry about! I mean, seriously, if you want to be angry, turn on the news! Plenty of shit to be mad about there.

One woman in particular, who shall remain nameless…


POETRY

And then the Beatles sang, “Let it be!”

Photo courtesy of Don Feazelle

Oh to be in a state of Zen,
Whilst I meditate, and maybe levitate!
Oh to be free
from mundane worries and frivolities of life;
To be rid of strife which causes
cortisol to spike so high,
that my adrenals want to fly!

Instead, I’d much rather take in
the views from the mountain tops of Trabzon,
where magnificence surrounds me.

Where simple divinity envelops me,
and the mist from the lakes below embrace me.

In due time,
it shall come to pass. …

Robin Klammer

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