HUMOR POETRY
If a herd of zombies came upon her crew?
“Cappy Sue Cappy Sue! Whatever shall we do?” Sarah Paris cried with trembling fear.
“ Come here my dear, what could it be? Now you’ve worried me!”
“There’s a herd of zombies coming near!”
"Ryan Fan and a few of his fighting crew are at the gate, but surely we’ll need more men than just eight!”
The Captain’s parrot had trained for this very task. Mr. Freud, rose high above and screeched his warning squall.
“Be prepared to make a great cull!”, bellowed the bright Macaw.
POLITICAL SATIRE
The Fate of So Many Is At Stake.
Humpty Trumpty sat on the wall,
The country indeed,
Did take a great fall.
The last four years has been a waking nightmare of sorts.
Trump sat all day on Twitter,
And a storm he did tweet.
Oh my! What such a great leader is he.
The day when Biden is sworn in,
What a glory it will be!
But instead of being a good sport,
Trump will be sulking on the golf course,
Not showing a morsel of honor.
So many will sing and rejoice,
As Biden and Harris set the trail ablaze. …
HUMOR
A plea for a much better year
Here’s to a helluva year
It’s brought many to their breaking point,
Or quite near.
Not outta the woods by a long shot,
But it’s been quite the battle,
we have fought!
Here’s to words of hope,
to help you cope.
Here’s to some smiles,
For the ever lovin’ miles,
It’s safe to say,
Our patience has been tested,
But our humor cannot be bested!
Without further ado,
Here are my entries,
and I gotta say,
this last year has felt like a century!
My latest humor stories
I’m just waiting for the link from our Cappy, Susan Brearley. I’ve been a’ scrollin’ and…
GRIEF/LOSS/PETS
With a spot of white upon her chest.
It’s been six months since my furry girl passed away, and her absence is still felt within the deepest recesses of my heart. It’s hard to even make sense of it at times, like she was part of a dream, and I’ve awaken.
While we treasure our furry family members, I think we often take their presence for granted, until they’re gravely ill, or pass on. I still have her treats, and her toys and other belongings, which I’ve yet to part with, and for the life of me, I don’t even want to. When I see her stuff stashed…
THANK YOU LETTERS | SATIRE
Oh so presumptuous
Dear Friendly Neighbors,
It’s been such a pleasure to see what great traits of courtesy you display as you partake in outdoor activities. It’s wonderful to see you having fun from my window as I gaze out in wonder at your truck, camper, and other such equipment.
I’m glad you saw fit to help yourselves to the green space, well, white, right now. I didn’t really want to see the trees and nature after all. I mean, that is why we bought this house, but hey, help yourselves! Oh wait, you already did. You’re NOT welcome.
PARENTING
Like A Mommy Scorned!
Please understand me when I say the following without malice; there are times when I just can’t stand my kid. The way he acts, the way he behaves — at home, of course. I suppose I should be thankful I don’t get calls from the school about misbehavior. Pre-Covid, of course.
With the virus sweeping across the country, and the world as we know it, the kids are in our face.
ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY!!!
FOOD
How I love thee!
Dear Eggs,
Where would we be without you? You’re rich in protein and help build muscles. Whether boiled, poached or fried. To the egg; we must abide!
You’re so versatile, and oh so yummy. We use you in many foods, perhaps not always your yolks for those with high cholesterol, but nice whipped whites for lemon meringue pies.
My absolute favorite utensil is the almighty egg slicer! What an ingenious idea, especially for people like myself, who couldn’t cut a straight line to save their lives.
You’re perfect for deviled eggs, my fave! They look so quaint, lined up just…
MOTHERS/DAUGHTERS
I missed her more than I thought I would.
After more than two years, my mother and I have started talking again. It gives me some peace to know she’s okay. Closing my heart to her left me bitter, and empty. I questioned whether I was any better than the others who had turned their backs on her? On the flip side, it’s not without the usual tsunami of confusion and trepidation. I’m sure anyone who’s had a complicated relationship with their mother can relate.
Part of me justified the estrangement because she had taken me off her contact list through whatever misguided means she had. She said she…
WRITING/RELATIONSHIPS
With a mind of my own
I don’t know about you, but lately, I’m feeling 50 shades of rage. I’m just tired of this hamster wheel of BS we’re on. Like Groundhog Day, but worse. I haven’t seen the movie, but I might have to. I’ve always thought, “Why would I want to see a movie about my life?” Bill Murray is awesome, so I might have a look-see.
It seems like so many women are just fed up with our lot in life, and we’re trying to make changes, so we can look in the mirror and feel at least content, if not proud. I…
ART/BOOKCOVERS
Make the investment to put your best foot forward.
So much goes into a book I hadn’t taken into account before, but the cover must draw your readers in and feel compelled to open the book. After a little help from my friends on a title, I started thinking about what the cover should look like. The above. illustration captures the gloom of gray skies, but the lighthouse is there to guide you through the stormy seas, which is suiting for the metaphor I wanted to convey in my upcoming book.
I had looked on Fiverr at various seller’s, but there weren’t any that said, “Pick me, pick me!”…
